Where I'm From--Examples & Rubric

After the brainstorming, we'll read the original poem that inspired this exercise: Where I'm From by George Ella Lyon.

As you begin drafting, consider the elements we've studied in our TPCASTT analysis. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rubric is available here.

Sentence and Word Variety Homework

First, break down your first four words, your verbs, your interesting words, and the number of words per sentence.  Extra copies of the worksheet we used are available here.  

After looking at your worksheet, choose one paragraph from your essay to revise.  In order to revise, you may add, change, or delete words or sentences.   While you may insert sentences that add elaboration and sentence variety, do not change the general idea or topic of the paragraph. 

Here are some other tips you can use to adjust your sentences.

Boring beginnings (ex. every sentence starts with “They.”)

–They glisten in the sunlight.   

–I can picture them glistening in the sunlight.

If sentences are too short or too repetitive, combine them.

•They glisten in the sunlight.

•They are whiter than snow.

–I can picture them glistening in the sunlight, whiter than snow.

If sentences are all long sentences or all one length, mix in very short, punched sentences or commands.

Here’s why.  We do.   You’re right.

If verbs repeat, then substitute with an  example that uses active verbs.  (This is also an elaboration problem.)

–You are beautiful.

–You are so nice.

–You are an amazing person.

Instead, write about a particular time when you could tell he was “nice.”   SHOW us!

If  are words predictable, then substitute with more specific words, probably based on an example. 

Show us!

Sentence Structures to Try:

•Short Simple— (3 examples)

You will.        I do.    We should. 

•Compound

You are amazing, but many may not know how kind you are to your fans.

•Complex

When you visit Jacksonville, you’ll see that people here will return your smile.

•Compound-Complex

During my teen years, I’ve watched my sister, Amy, suffer through head-gear, rubber bands, and painful adjustments to her bite, but her teeth still don’t look like yours.

Persuasive Rubric!

Looking for the persuasive rubric?  

Click here to find it or access my portal page.

Persuasion Maps and Research Resources

We'll all start our general outlines on ReadWriteThink.org with their interactive

  Persuasion Maps! 

(Click the link above.)  

Dodgeball debate: Homework

Do you need the articles to finish the dodgeball debate homework?  You can access them by clicking here: dodgeball articles

Peer Persuasion: What are you teaching the world?

We have embarked upon the early brainstorming for our persuasive writing unit.  It is called "Peer Persuasion."  We've been exploring different topics that can make the world safer and cleaner as well as topics that can help young people be more successful, healthier, or happier.  Students have finally narrowed down the choices and submitted sample thesis statements for their essays. 
In this post, we'll review some of the notes and requirements for this step of the persuasive essay process.

The thesis clearly presents the writer’s position.

The writer

–uses three or more relevant facts/reasons to support the thesis.

–demonstrates an understanding of the opposing side’s point of view (counter-argument) and respectfully shows why it’s wrong.

–understands the intended audience and tailors the presentation accordingly.

The information is presented in a logical, easy-to-follow sequence.

Next, we wrote and turned in our thesis statements for our potential topics.  Most students will get to write about their first choice.  If you were absent, or didn't finish, please write three possible thesis statements and turn them in to your teacher.  See directions and notes below.
 

Your thesis statement(s) will tell the audience:

•your claim, opinion, or what you want them to do or believe

•a preview of the reasons/evidence that support this claim

•the order in which you will be presenting your reasons and evidence with parallel structure.